It's been almost a year

Between March to May 2007, I had felt some kind of numbness on my left thigh each time i sat for a prolonged period. Easy tasks like driving a car, air travelling, watching a movie at cinemas, sitting fine dining with clients, attending long meetings or even crossed legs during kenduri baca Yasin would become an uneasy affair. I always felt a slight tinge which turned into numbness affecting almost the whole length of my left thigh.

I went to see the doctor many times but i never wanted to say it out loud fearing the worst of results. Finally, the situation became unbearable. The pain kept coming and coming at a higher frequency. By that time, i knew something was getting really wrong somewhere.

I went to see a friend who's also doctor and he diagnosed me.

He said "There nothing severe but you have what we call a compressed nerve condition. There's no medicinal cure but you have a choice of either to rest completely until the nerve expand again or expedite the process by exercising." That was the prescription and I left his clinic without paying a cent.

I did my own research and further studied and found out that the condition can be a very early sign of stroke. Something which i think my Doc friend was not ready to tell me yet. He can either incompetent or hoping that i would heed his advice and wished the pain would go away without him having to tell me the truth.

I was in dazed. It took me another month before i decided to change my lifestyle. Change for the better. Change for the sake of my family. Most importantly, i must admit that i need to make the change.

However, something were still missing. I just dunno how and where to start.

I need an impetus. I need a rude shock to kick me off from the couch. I need a motivation pill. I need a trainer. I need guidance. I need a strong support team. I need my desire. I need myself to know what i want more than ever.

On 20/6/2007, taking the advice from Shazly, i went quietly to the weighing machine, stepped on it and was shocked to find i weighed a massive mind boggling 160kgs or 352 pounds..!! Just the kind of impetus/rude shock/motivation pill which i badly needed to bring me back to reality. Sometimes, knowing the truth can be really heart-breaking. No one can ever imagined how i felt driving back home on the same day. No one would know what was i thinking when i had shower as i got home and no one would know how hard for me to go to sleep, afraid to know that i will wake-up and face the same truth the next day. I was in grief.

Later, I sat with Shazly and started devising a training regime from food intake to the type of exercises that's best suited for my body geometry. We agreed to start very slow and increase the requirements gradually. It was a customised, self made programme with lotsa flexibility to fit my work travelling schedule. My target was to loose at least 30kg in 18 months.

Initially, it was really painful and a torture having to train all by yourself. You run alone, you eat alone, you read alone, you calculate alone, you plan your training alone, you execute your training alone, you shop your food alone etc. Constant mental arguments with your thoughts and keep challenging your self-doubt were never easy. At times, i felt like a mad person.

However, i had to presevere and since then i had :

• been walking from 1km, 2km, 3km and further now
• been running from 50m, 500m, 5km and further now
• been running and walking up to 20km
• walked up Genting (to Goh Tong Jaya) during last year's puasa month
• weightlifting
• swimming
• been inching closer to playing my best tennis (my fav sport)
• badminton
• field hockey
• cycled using my borrowed MTB on numerous routes
• cycled using a road bike - two century rides so far
• participated in 5km and 10km running competitions
• participated in A'famosa International Triathlon
• avoided rice or any refined white flour products
• avoided any processed food. Canned and boxed.
• choose my food carefully
• cook my own breakfast
• veggies and fruits are the best of friends
• warm water is my favourite drink now
• nuts are my favourite snack
• never on a slimming pill or any kind of the so-called fat buster tablet
• etc

The preseverance started to pay off since the first month i was into the regime. Inch by inch the my belly started to shrink. Pound by pound, my weight started to shed.

Today, I am 9 days away from the 1st anniversary of the training programme and i felt a sense of sadness reflecting the tough and trying times i'd went through so far. The sufferings, the self-conflict, the early morning rise and running alone, the tarmac, the constant tiredness, the burn-out i when through in patches, the evil cravings etc. I just had to pen this down to ease the sadness. The psychological impact is far more strenuous than the physical test. I feel like crying now. It's painful.

Statistically, i had

Lost 42kg in total.
Gained 6kg of free fat mass.
Lost 48kg or 106 pounds!!

That's massive. That's is equivalent to a petite Asian lady. I exceeded my own expectation.

I was wearing a size 60 pants. I am wearing size 44 now. 16 inches loss.

Even my shoe size had shrunk half a size.

My blood pressure has gone down to 120/80.

My numbness on my left thigh has seemed to disappear long ago.

When i looked into the mirror, I saw some changes but i think i am still an obese.

Some say, Phase I is completed. The fat i'd lost were the easy fat. The real work begin now.

I am writing this to share with those who are in my shoes like i was before. You may be as big as me but most of you are smaller. The point is it is possible to loose weight without using any pills, fad ads etc and i can vouch for it. Set your mind on the target and keep telling yourself that you want to take care of yourself. Once you know why you are doing it, your sub-conscious mind will take you through the long hard and arduous journey. It is not an easy journey but it's worth to take the journey.

Now, into Phase II. I will start by celebrating my 1st anniversary at the Chillis.

Old Timer, here i come.