Jittery

I called up Mr Chan and he allowed a late registration. Now, im registered to race. And im panicking.

Anyway, the reason why i didnt bother to check Desaru's registration deadline was because I wasn't thinking nor intending to do it in the first place. To me, the DHIM distance was a bit too long and maybe im pushing my luck a tad too far.

But after last weekend's workout, i felt i should just give it a try. However, i know i wasnt really serious about it which explains the registration delay.

When i knew the registration was closed, i felt a mixed emotions between a relief and a setback.

A relief, cos the challenge is a bit intimidating. A relief, cos i think i need to get 'real' and come back to reality.

A setback, if i dont try this year, the next opportunity will be a year from now (provided im still healthy and injury free). A setback, if i dont try, i will not know how tough the challenge is.

Either/or it's in the mind.

As soon as Mr Chan's secretary said "You've been registered. See you in Desaru!", it dawned upon me that i have just sold my life, to some, the madness of excruciating and painful sport.

Why would anyone do this sport???? Dont ask me, i dont have the answer.

I'm exercising just for the sake of loosing the extra pounds..... but why i choose this sport? i get lotsa this question and i dont have the answer.

At the moment, i had the same feeling when i registered for my 1st tri, the A'famosa. Jittery. Not knowing what to expect gives you the butterfly in stomach sensation. I hate it. It gives me a sense of uncertainty. Not being in control of my destiny. Once again, im being pushed out of my comfort zone.

I hope, the lil' experiences i had with my two tris should give me an insight of what kind of pain ive committed too. Even then, i dont think anyone can imagine the pain until they get through it.

Well, what to do now? My target is to experience the challenge and keep my personal journey alive. I dunno whether i can finish the distance. infact i dont mind if i end up as a DNF. It's a monumental task just thinking about it. Having said that i will try to enjoy, get suck into the race atmosphere and the people.

To those who are reading the blog, dont you guys dare to leave me out there alone, okay?

Kalau korang dah abis pon, carik lar gua balik. Kalau korang pegi tapi tak race, sokong lar kuat2 and kalau korang tak pegi, doakanlah supaya wa bleh race dengan dengan selamat, k?

If my wife is reading this, i know i should be at home at the mo but i hope you can 'cover' it for me. I know it's not easy for you having someone like me in your life but betcha all your sacrifices will be forever etched into my memory bank and God will reward special people in a special way. If i had gone a bit too far in pursuing this insane passion of mine..... please forgive me .

Wish me luck, y'all.